Sex?! What can Christians do in the bedroom?
Jun 1
/
Guntars Baikovs
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Sex?!
What can Christians do in the bedroom? What a question! It gets our attention.
But… this is a real question, and it is not a funny one at that. Actually, I think this is a very responsible question.
I hear it more and more often from young Christians preparing for marriage.
What can we do in bed?
What is sinful and what is not?
Where do such questions come from?I guess, from what we see and experience in wider culture.
Whatever humanity has ever thought to do with their bodies for the sake of pleasure, today that is all on display. On our screens, in our pockets; children at a shockingly young age are exposed to those things in their schools. (Continue below).
What can Christians do in the bedroom? What a question! It gets our attention.
But… this is a real question, and it is not a funny one at that. Actually, I think this is a very responsible question.
I hear it more and more often from young Christians preparing for marriage.
What can we do in bed?
What is sinful and what is not?
Where do such questions come from?I guess, from what we see and experience in wider culture.
Whatever humanity has ever thought to do with their bodies for the sake of pleasure, today that is all on display. On our screens, in our pockets; children at a shockingly young age are exposed to those things in their schools. (Continue below).
Sex?! What can Christians do in the bedroom?
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The questions are genuine and the concern is real.
How to answer this question? I have struggled. The answer isn’t exactly
obvious. You can't just say: "Proverbs, chapter 34, verses 10-25."
Don't even go there!
So, I will share the answer that I have settled on for now, and if you have Biblically more faithful or practically more applicable answers, don’t keep to themselves, put them in the comments section.
First some big picture notes.
As for almost everything else, God’s revelation in the Bible gives us the highest and the most beautiful view on sexual intimacy. It is a wonderful gift of the Creator God who has designed us, men and women, in such a way that we are privileged to share with Him in His work of creation, producing new life, new human beings, new beings who are destined to live forever. How beautiful and how majestic is that!
So, the more precious the gifts, the more carefully we should receive it. That sounds like common sense. Thus, the Triune God has provided for us some instructions. The gift of sexual intimacy is to be received and enjoyed between a man and a woman who have committed to one another, to love and serve, to rejoice and mourn, to toil and celebrate, to play and laugh together till death do part them.
Because that is where the fullness of the gift of sexual pleasure can be received and enjoyed, where not only our bodies, but also our very souls, our deepest being is joined together, where sexual intimacy is about everything that God the Creator designed it to be, not only one selected bite of it.
Now, what sexual acts are sinful and what are not?
Can we do this? And what about that?
I think the categories sinful and not sinful are not the most helpful in this situation. The Triune God has created us with bodies that can bring us heaps of sexual pleasure, with many senses… He has given us eyes to enjoy our spouse, ears to delight in their voice and what they say, smell to feel the fragrance of their bodies, lips to taste them, and whole bodies to touch and embrace, plus, imagination to delight and dream about our loved one. Besides the sense of complete trust and safety.
That is all given. For us to enjoy one another. Of course, it doesn't always work out that way in this broken world, as we know it too well.
Nevertheless, rather than talking about sinful and not sinful, I would suggest categories of healthy and not healthy. There are things we could do to produce bodily sensations and very intense ones, perhaps, we would like to do that inspired by what we have seen on our little screens, and desiring to experiment, but when we look at our bodies, it is quite clear that every part is designed with certain purposes in mind. Not everything that we could do is healthy for us or for our spouse.
There is more information available than ever about what are possible health effects for this or for that be… don’t be lazy, dig them up!
Besides, not everything honours our spouse as God's gift to us, we don't want to objectify them and to make them feel as simple pleasure producing warm bodies.
When we enter marriage, we commit to love one another, and love does no harm. We don’t want to harm our spouse, neither body nor soul, and it isn’t wise to harm our body or soul either.
That’s roughly the answer I have settled on for now.
You can find much more on the topic of sexual intimacy, marriage, secrets for happy marriage, how to avoid divorce and much more in Wisdom 4 Relationships course. I would be curious to hear your feedback.
May God’s wisdom help you to enjoy beautiful and satisfying sexual intimacy with your spouse!
So, I will share the answer that I have settled on for now, and if you have Biblically more faithful or practically more applicable answers, don’t keep to themselves, put them in the comments section.
First some big picture notes.
As for almost everything else, God’s revelation in the Bible gives us the highest and the most beautiful view on sexual intimacy. It is a wonderful gift of the Creator God who has designed us, men and women, in such a way that we are privileged to share with Him in His work of creation, producing new life, new human beings, new beings who are destined to live forever. How beautiful and how majestic is that!
So, the more precious the gifts, the more carefully we should receive it. That sounds like common sense. Thus, the Triune God has provided for us some instructions. The gift of sexual intimacy is to be received and enjoyed between a man and a woman who have committed to one another, to love and serve, to rejoice and mourn, to toil and celebrate, to play and laugh together till death do part them.
Because that is where the fullness of the gift of sexual pleasure can be received and enjoyed, where not only our bodies, but also our very souls, our deepest being is joined together, where sexual intimacy is about everything that God the Creator designed it to be, not only one selected bite of it.
Now, what sexual acts are sinful and what are not?
Can we do this? And what about that?
I think the categories sinful and not sinful are not the most helpful in this situation. The Triune God has created us with bodies that can bring us heaps of sexual pleasure, with many senses… He has given us eyes to enjoy our spouse, ears to delight in their voice and what they say, smell to feel the fragrance of their bodies, lips to taste them, and whole bodies to touch and embrace, plus, imagination to delight and dream about our loved one. Besides the sense of complete trust and safety.
That is all given. For us to enjoy one another. Of course, it doesn't always work out that way in this broken world, as we know it too well.
Nevertheless, rather than talking about sinful and not sinful, I would suggest categories of healthy and not healthy. There are things we could do to produce bodily sensations and very intense ones, perhaps, we would like to do that inspired by what we have seen on our little screens, and desiring to experiment, but when we look at our bodies, it is quite clear that every part is designed with certain purposes in mind. Not everything that we could do is healthy for us or for our spouse.
There is more information available than ever about what are possible health effects for this or for that be… don’t be lazy, dig them up!
Besides, not everything honours our spouse as God's gift to us, we don't want to objectify them and to make them feel as simple pleasure producing warm bodies.
When we enter marriage, we commit to love one another, and love does no harm. We don’t want to harm our spouse, neither body nor soul, and it isn’t wise to harm our body or soul either.
That’s roughly the answer I have settled on for now.
You can find much more on the topic of sexual intimacy, marriage, secrets for happy marriage, how to avoid divorce and much more in Wisdom 4 Relationships course. I would be curious to hear your feedback.
May God’s wisdom help you to enjoy beautiful and satisfying sexual intimacy with your spouse!
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