What Threatens Your Happiness? Part II

Jun 21 / Guntars Baikovs
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Here we will look at 8 cultural trends and currents that have contributed to the confusion in which we life today.

[1] Love was separated from marriage.

One was presented as good and another as bad. One was presented as being about excitement, affection, passion, colourful and intense, and the other – marriage – as being about toil and drudgery and burden, grey and boring and tasteless.

Which one would you choose?

But, of course, love… That’s how two things which belong together where artificially and deceptively positioned as opposites; as if you needed to choose which one you wanted – love or marriage.
[2] Sex was separated from procreation.

With the invention of the pill in 1960, now sex wasn’t about procreation anymore, not about babies, not about potentially creating a new life, but mainly about satisfying our sexual pleasures. Thus, sexual intimacy was actually emptied of its deepest meaning and made into something superficial and shallow. (We will learn more about the beauty of sexual pleasures as wisely seen later.

[3] Sex was separated from marriage.

If sexual intimacy is not about creating life, not about babies anymore, but only about our physical pleasures, why not… let’s go for it! Why to restrict it to marital relationships only? Let’s make it free and open and accessible! So, we separated sex from loving relationships, from faithfulness, from trust, from commitment, from mutual care, from deep bonds of our souls, etc. Let’s make it just physical!

[4] Then came ideologies that preached that there are no fundamental differences between men and women.

That both sexes are interchangeable. No differences. That all the differences are only imaginary, that they are only social constructs. If we don’t know anymore, who we are as men and women, then what are our chances that we will be able to be happy? (We will look at what our actual difference are a bit later). 

[5] Parallel to these developments something else took place – a fundamental shift in how we understand ourselves.

Perhaps this is the main challenge of our times. This problem has been long time in making. We have gradually moved from the external reality-based perception of who we are to desire based psychological self-understanding; from objective to subjective. In the former we needed to learn and understand what the reality is, who we are, what our relationships are about, what our responsibilities are – and embrace them. In the later it is mainly about – what I want and how I want it. Now! Regardless of the cost for others, or even myself in a few years’ time. It is about me, about instant gratification. Sounds appealing on surface, but the truth is – the Universe and the history doesn’t bend according to our whims. If we are foolish, we will pay the price, and also people who care for us will suffer.

[6] The understanding of marriage has changed.

The focus of marriage used to be about serving another person (to be fair, probably, not always). Now it has become mostly about – me. I want someone who will satisfy my needs, my wants, my desires. Now the most fulfilling part in all relationships, that is, the self-sacrificial giving and service is forgotten, and consequently so much joy and meaning is thrown out of window.

To be continued...

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